"THAT TEXT TO CAT"
BY JULIA CARPENTER
To: corinna@corinnasart.com
From: alice.m.moore@gmail.com
Date: April 12 12:31 pm
Subject: that text to Cat
Hi hi, can I run that text to Cat by you before I send it?? I need your thoughts. Like, is it too mean? Or is it too nice? Main thing is I want to get this solved before Zac’s ~~business party this weekend, which I am already dreading UGH UGH UGH
Also freaking out DOUBLE because I read this this morning (you have to read it!!!): https://www.thecut.com/who-will-come-to-get-the-white-women-it-has-to-be-other-white-women.html
TY for helping me with this ilysmmmmmmmmmmm
Alice Moore
Pet Grooming Professional
instagram.com/alicelovesyoumoore
To: alice.m.moore@gmail.com
From: corinna@corinnasart.com
Date: April 12 12:45 pm
Subject: re: that text to Cat
Hello! Two things:
*yes* *of course* send send send!
Just to clarify: this is *the* text about the *hot tub comment* from *this* weekend?
xx C
Corinna Black
Graphic Designer, Lettering Artist, Business Owner
corinnasart.com
instagram.com/corinnasartinsta
“I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself.” — Arianna Huffington
To: Corinna
From: Alice
Date: April 12 12:50 pm
Subject: re: that text to Cat
Yes, that one and yes, I still haven’t slept since it happened. Thank you for helping me step up and do the right thing!
Anyway soooo below is the draft I have to send her — please respond ASAP ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
Hey, Cat, I’m sorry to send you this when I know you’re super stressed about your big presentation (I hope it goes really well, btw, you’re going to kill it!!!), but something has been bothering me since the Catskills trip (which was so fun and I loved seeing you!!!), and I wanted to get it out in the open.
When we were in the hot tub talking about work, the comment you made about one of Zac’s co-founders really shocked and disappointed me. I want us to have the kind of friendship where you feel free to talk openly with me (and you know I’m always here for you!), but calling him “one of the brown guys” really surprised and shocked me. I didn’t know how to react in the moment, which is why I’m letting you know now.
You’re such a generous, kind, smart, beautiful friend, and I am sure you just made the comment without thinking of how it would affect me, the friend sitting right beside you in the hot tub who had journeyed all the way to the Catskills to be there with you. That thoughtless comment kind of put a damper on what was supposed to be such a joyous (and diversely attended!!! We specifically wanted it to be diversely attended!!!) weekend, and I wanted you to know that that’s why I’m sending you this text — because I don’t want us to have the kind of friendship where things linger and fester, and I want us both to hold each accountable so we can stop the silence (me in the hot tub) before it turns into violence (the epidemic of racial hatred our country is finally reckoning with). Anyway, I think I’ll need some space after sending this, but I wanted to get it out in the open before Zac’s business party this weekend. I am here if you want to talk more later in the week, like if you want to get a drink or a manicure or something after work, before we partayyyy the night awayyyy. Good luck with the presentation, lady!!! xoxoxo
Ty for being the best, Corinna! lmk what I should move/change/tweak/style/adjust/etc etc etc! Ugh brb going to go vomit all the stress right out of my body 🤮 🤮 🤮
Alice Moore
Pet Grooming Professional
instagram.com/alicelovesyoumoore
To: Alice
From: Corinna
Date: April 12 1:38 pm
Subject: re: that text to Cat
I put this in track changes and have attached it so you can see all my edits.
Some things to remember:
What’s the format here? Is this going to be sent in *one big text* or *multiple smaller texts* with breaks in between to allow Cat to really absorb what you’re saying and process the hurt her comments have caused you, Zac and everyone else on the trip?
If the latter, I’m thinking like three texts broken up? To really give you the space to say what you know you need to say in order to speak out on this?
Always here for you,
xx C
Corinna Black
Graphic Designer, Lettering Artist, Business Owner
corinnasart.com
instagram.com/corinnasartinsta
“The greatest menace to freedom is an inert people” — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
[Attch: CorinnasResponseDraft1.pdf]
To: Corinna
From: Alice
Date: April 12 1:18
Subject: re: that text to Cat
OK yes good thoughts but — is that a lot of notifications for her?? I feel like it might feel like even more of a big deal if it’s multiple notifications????? Lmk bc I am panicking hahaha
Alice Moore
Pet Grooming Professional
instagram.com/alicelovesyoumoore
To: Alice
From: Corinna
Date: April 12 1:21 pm
Subject: re: that text to Cat
So on further thought, I think the best thing to do is to put this all in an email and send it because:
She can then decide to look at it *after* her big presentation.
Sending via email also communicates a level of seriousness I *know* you want to be conveyed in this!
Do you know when the presentation is? This is crucial intel because we want her to be zen and receptive and totally ready to tackle the important work we’re insisting she begin doing on herself.
OK I’m online for the next 10 and then in a meeting, but then I can hop back on to check before I get on the train. You let me know if you have any questions about these latest edits and how I can support you.
Love you! Proud of you for dealing with this head-on like a BOSS! xx C
ALSO: I read this on the train this morning and it is sooooo us:
https://www.jezebel.com/confronting-white-women-about-racism-and-feminism-when-you-are-also-white
[Attch: CorinnasResponseDraft2.pdf]
Corinna Black
Graphic Designer, Lettering Artist, Business Owner
corinnasart.com
instagram.com/corinnasartinsta
“One person’s ‘annoying’ is another person’s ‘inspiring and heroic.’” — Leslie Knope
To: Corinna
From: Alice
Date: April 12 3:30 pm
Subject: re: that text to Cat
Omg ty for these edits, you are MUCHO thoughtful. But OK, so I actually talked with Zac about this on the way to Sweetgreen and he thinks I should FaceTime Cat, not text her? Like to be more direct about it, I guess? He was really insistent on handling it ASAP. He said that given it’s HIS work party (v v v v big deal) this weekend he doesn’t really want all the drama at that, sooooo like he wants me to nip this friend drama stuff in the bud is how it sounded?? Def don’t want to be like the un-chill gf so that is sort of top of my mind at the moment.
What do you think? I’m a little annoyed at him for saying ANYTHING when I’m the one who is literally having to confront racism right now but SIGH I know he’s busy with the business party 🍸🎉
Also THANK YOU for sending that link, plus I read these at lunch and you totally should, too:
https://www.jezebel.com/confronting-white-women-about-racism-and-feminism-when-you-are-also-white
http://www.vox.com/explainer-for-white-women-what-does-intersectionality-really-mean-104937
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/10/06/opinion/how-white-are-you
Alice Moore
Pet Grooming Professional
instagram.com/alicelovesyoumoore
“I love when people underestimate me and then become pleasantly surprised.” — Kim Kardashian
[gchat window: Alice, Corinna]
Alice: hi this is easier lol
Corinna: why hello
Alice: hello lol
Corinna: ummm nice email signature
Alice: oh yeah thank youuuuu
Corinna: I didn’t know you did email signatures
Alice: ummmm yeah like ever since I started my business?
but anyway more important what is up with zac offering his opinion
Corinna: lol right
so ok are we mad at him?
you know I can be mad at him if that is what you want
Alice: hahaha
no remember we’re mad at Cat lol
Corinna: hahahahaha
I mean
sort of mad at her
Alice: totes ofc
Corinna: we’re not actually MAD at her
Alice: right like not for REAL for real mad
Corinna: we don’t get mad at our FRIENDS
we’re just trying to make sure we do the right thing here
Alice: sooooo agree
glad you said that
Corinna: lol
Alice: bc I was thinking
this is awkward but
….
Corinna: omg wut
alice WHAT
you’ve been typing for five whole minutes
oh my god
don’t leave me here like this
what!!!!
Alice: lol sorry got a call but back now
Corinna: omg not a call from Cat???
she tried me earlier today
Alice: omg did you pick up
Corinna: no I let it ring
not because I’m picking sides or anything!!!
Alice: omg I know that!!!
Corinna: bc I would so never!!!
Alice: you soooo would never!!!
Corinna: it was because I was in ANOTHER meeting lol
meetings for dayyyyyyzzzz
To: Alice
From: Corinna
Date: April 12 4:45 pm
Subject: re: that text to Cat
I have escaped from meeting hell and I want to make one thing clear: def don’t FaceTime her. No offense to Zac, but he doesn’t know Cat *at all* and you *know* she would not respond well to a face ambush like that. Also not to keep on it, but just throwing it out there: what kind of boyfriend wants you to minimize your feelings? Food for thought, happy to talk it out if you want to, because I’m *always here* for you.
Back to Cat — I say let’s go back to the original plan, the texts, but maybe squish them all into one message and try to not make it longer than one scroll? Did you have any questions about the edits? Want to send me an updated version to proofread?
Also not to keep talking about email signatures but because I have been doing them for years I wanted to ask: is a Kim K quote the best choice for the sig? Especially when you’re trying to build the business? Just some more food for thought!
Speaking of food, def going to read these links you sent when I have a lunch break later today! One of those days like *when is lunch* lol
Corinna Black
Graphic Designer, Lettering Artist, Business Owner
corinnasart.com
instagram.com/corinnasartinsta
“If you’re serious about changing your life, you’ll find a way. If you’re not, you’ll find an excuse.” — Jen Sincero
[gchat window: Alice, Corinna]
Alice: ok sorry I’m back
now I kind of feel like …
this text could come from both of us???
Corinna: what do you mean
Alice: so it could like like
show that we are both seeing her behavior and like
Holding her accountable???
Corinna: yeah I don’t think so
Alice: it’s a sign to her that we’re
you know
united in the cause???
Corinna: more like united in the backlash
Alice: but yeah i mean it, i think it could come from both of us
like two feminist activists would have signed it from both of them
Corinna: ok this means you’ve officially overthunk it
you need to hit send i think
Alice: i am being serious here! I will sign it “from Alice and Corinna” with the power fist emojis
Corinna: yeah noooooo way Jose
omg
I said “no way Jose”
omg
omg alice
Alice: omg what
Corinna: I just realized
is that like … offensive
Alice: what’s offensive???
Corinna: like saying “no way jose”
Alice: omg
like, probably????
like to Mexican people????
Corinna: omg when you say it like that it is so bad
like omg that just came out of me
Alice: OK I won’t tell anyone I swear
Corinna: yeah promise you won’t
Alice: never
But omg it’s like here in the gchat
Corinna: AHHHH ALICE DONT SCARE ME
Alice: OK let’s like close our computers and delete it
Corinna: I am turning off our gchat history and never using gchat again
Alice: you can do that???
wow that is so dramatic
but yeah do it
To: Corinna
From: Alice
Date: April 13 7:10 am
Subject: re: that text to Cat
Good morning, good morning!! OK so don’t be mad buuuuut I didn’t send it. I feel sick. Can you be the one to send it? Like I said, I feel like it could come from both of us?? You can send it and I can sign it “Corinna & Alice” ??? Like both of us in solidarity against white supremacy?
Also maybe I misread your previous comments re: email sig because I don’t know if you know but Kim K is a highly successful entrepreneur??? She’s known worldwide for her advocacy?? Can send some articles if you need to read more about her *very important* work 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Also also saw this linked in a newsletter this am and like omg:
https://www.elitedaily.com/white-women-must-unite-against-other-white women-if-the-world-will-be-saved-its-a-major-deal
Alice Moore
Pet Grooming Professional
instagram.com/alicelovesyoumoore
“Normal is very boring.” — Kylie Jenner
To: Corinna
From: Alice
Date: April 13 10:09 am
Subject: re: that text to Cat
Hi just seeing this! I had to get my coffee and it was a *whole thing* I know you know how that goes … and yes obvi your feelings are *so* valid and I will always be here to validate them but also I think it should come from **YOU** since it was the two of ***YOU*** in the hot tub that night? Feels kind of weird to be looping me in when I actually wasn’t there? Even though you know I love and support you doing this and applaud your bravery in it! Don’t let Z’s nervous mood distract you from this! You can do it
xx C
Relevant to us:
https://www.bustle.com/finding-the-courage-to-be-THAT-bitch
Corinna Black
Graphic Designer, Lettering Artist, Business Owner
corinnasart.com
instagram.com/corinnasartinsta
“I’ve never felt the need to be jealous. Maybe because I’ve been lucky enough to have contentment in what I do.” — Priyanka Chopra
[gchat window: Alice, Corinna]
Alice: have to leave early today to help z with the party
he’s so nervous it’s so cute lol
ps did you have thoughts on the email sig??
Kylie vs. Kim K??
Corinna: hmmm is there a kendall one?? She’s the one I think makes sense for you and the brand you’re building, you know?
Alice: ooh or get this
what if I made it a Kris Jenner quote?
Corinna: omg
Alice: right omg
Corinna: then your brand is like
‘she works harder than the Kris Jenner, who works even harder than the devil’
Alice: right totally
that is so what I’m going for
To: Alice
From: Corinna
Date: April 14 11:30 am
Subject: re: that text to Cat
Can’t wait for the party btw! Which means I’m of course still thinking about this text to Cat. I say you have to send it like today. Like, *today* today.
Some thoughts:
If she’s also going to be in that big presentation won't her phone already be on silent?
But if it’s not then it would go off when she’s presenting and that would lead to her looking at your message with a feeling of annoyance?
So that is not a good start?
Sending you positive vibes! xx C
Corinna Black
Graphic Designer, Lettering Artist, Business Owner
corinnasart.com
instagram.com/corinnasartinsta
“The world loves to tell you how difficult things are, and the world is not exaggerating.” — Sophia Amoruso
To: Corinna
From: Alice
Date: April 14 11:35 am
Subject: re: that text to Cat
OK so I went down a Kim K quote rabbit hole last night and I think I decided to stick with her because her entrepreneurial spirit kind of inspired my whole business???? So I need you to support me on that, OK? I understand your views but in *my views* this is about women supporting women.
This whole business with Cat has me thinking sooo much about openness and honesty and CANDOR in friends but just in the world, so when I found this quote below it just felt like ME and MY life rn. I feel like my career is based on openness and honesty. You may disagree but I feel like it’s the decision that’s best for me. 💋💋💋
idk if you saw but I just RT’d this. tbh it is essential reading for us rn: https://www.refinery29.com/handling-tough-convos-with-friends-over-email-when-you-cant-do-it-in-person-and-you-need-help-from-your-real-friends-who-will-always-help
Alice Moore
Pet Grooming Professional
instagram.com/alicelovesyoumoore
“My career is based on openness and honesty.” — Kimberly Noel Kardashian, global icon and international entrepreneur
[gchat window: Alice, Corinna]
Corinna: love the new quote it’s SO YOU and I **support***
Alice: yayyy
thx for talking me through it, girl :)
Corinna: speaking of talking through it
last night i was just feeling guilty about all the side convos we’re having around this
Alice: excuse me
what do you mean???
Corinna: like the more I thought about it from Cat’s side
like you’re sort of judging her when she’s at this point when we are all trying to listen and learn and grow from the struggle?
Alice: i’m sorry WHAT
Corinna: and like we were at your parents’ Catskills place and in their hot tub
and you’d be calling her out for something she said in that safe space
Alice: Corinna wtf
Corinna: js
she is trying
also she’s the one who organized our donation drive at Christmas for the pet shelter
Alice: jesus christ Corinna
Corinna: it’s also more like
I am feeling this thing right now where like as part of my work to advance justice
I am trying to meet people where they are
Alice: omg but that is like my whole thing too
that was almost one of my email signatures, that is how much of my thing that is
corinna
are you there
i see it from her side, too!
i am meeting people where they are, too!
Corinna: hold on, in a meeting
Alice: ok but you are not the only one seeing it from her side!!!
[separate gchat window: Alice, Corinna, Cat]
Cat: hi hi my ladiessss
my boss said my presentation went really well!
he used the word “promotion” 🤑🤑🤑🤑
can we celebrate later before Zac’s business party??🍸🍸🍸🍸
side note remember that cutie co-founder of Zac’s from the Catskills trip?
he came in today and I forgot we sort of have a vibe going on???
Alice maybe you can hook a girl up??? 😍😜🫦👙
Julia Carpenter is a writer and journalist. Her work has appeared in publications such as Glamour, The Wall Street Journal and The Washington Post. She lives in New York City.